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NikkiRT2

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Posts: 2068

(10/12/08 2:58 PM)

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http://disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1978959

10-10-2008, 05:22 PM

#1

DVCJones

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Join Date: Sep 2006

Posts: 498

OT- DD's school making a mountain out of a mole hill????

My dd just started kindergarten this year and has been doing very well. Last week I received a note from her teacher wanting to discuss my DD's toileting issues.

After contacting the teacher I learned that my DD does not like to flush the toilet. She says she is afraid of how loud the toilet is. I guess she isn't used to industrial toilet. Anyway, I was also told she is afraid of the fire drill alarm.

So, at first, I was like...what's the big deal. It is all new and she will get used to it with time.

My DD told me that she cries when they make her flush the toilet. So, we had a little discussion on why she needed to do it and perhaps her teacher and DD could work on it together. I know my DD told her teacher that she was afraid and I thought it would be handled correctly. GENTLY!!!! After all, my DD couldn't be the only child afraid of loud toilets and fire alarms ever to go to school there. I thought it was pretty common.

Anyway, a long story short. It didn't go well and DD started "holding it" and developed UTI symptoms and this has become a huge mess with my DD being referred the school counselor for her "issues"

The more I think of this, the more upset I am getting. I don't think it was handled correctly in the beginning and now it is out of hand. The bathroom is in the classroom so it is not like someone needs to take her far to help her.
I think they could have helped her get used to it by maybe just being int the bathroom for the flushing part to let her get used to the noise.

Anyone else have a child that was afraid of loud toilets and fire alarms? How long did it take them to get over it? What did your school do?
Ugh!!!!!

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Last edited by DVCJones : 10-10-2008 at 09:43 PM.

I feel bad for her daughter and Kindergarten starting out so badly. But, I don't think a teacher or aide has time to go with a 5 year old to the bathroom to help them not be afraid of the loud toilet.

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Bree Hodge

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Posts: 3335

(10/12/08 3:04 PM)

Get snowflake some earplugs.

RollstrayAtrolpayOmay

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Posts: 1723

(10/12/08 3:09 PM)

eh, I'm gonna err on the side of if they need to encourage her a few times to getting used to the sound by helping her, then they should. She is FIVE years old. I don't think this qualifies her as a special snowflake for her mother thinking they are overreacting to this by refering her to a counselor instead of walking her through the process a few times.

"I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go." Barack Obama

UNenabler

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Posts: 453

(10/12/08 3:24 PM)

They have been in school, what, 6 or 7 weeks already? Don't you think snowflake should already be used to the flusher??

Mama Flake wants the teacher to go in and help her flush? Ok, so she does that, meanwhile the other 19 kids are in group starting to act up and by the time the teacher gets their attention back, time has been lost.

For goodness sake, people, teach your kids how to flush. Take them to a mall, Disneyworld or anywhere. Man,w hat a bunch of wimps we have up and coming.

gepetto reborn

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Posts: 2171

(10/12/08 3:26 PM)

Soup is good food!

RollstrayAtrolpayOmay wrote:
eh, I'm gonna err on the side of if they need to encourage her a few times to getting used to the sound by helping her

They probably did that already since schools been in session most places for over a month. Mom needs to take her somewhere with a big loud toilet to get her used to it...at this point, it's not the school's job.

Most K classes have 20+ kids and don't have the personnel to cater to toileting issues. I don't mean the occasional accident, it sounds like this kid has issues every day.

mickeyfan2

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Posts: 1710

(10/12/08 3:44 PM)

Mom should have taken her to the mall and practiced there. The teacher's job is not to potty train or teach how to flush. How often does the fire alarm go off at their school?

RollstrayAtrolpayOmay

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Posts: 1728

(10/12/08 3:51 PM)

They JUST alerted mom to this issue last week...so to me, the school bears some responsiblity here if this has been going on for 6 weeks without a word to mom. Could have been handled better....

"I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go." Barack Obama

mickeyfan2

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Posts: 1711

(10/12/08 3:54 PM)

But we do not know when the problem arose. She might have been fine with flushing and then stopped. Or maybe the school was helping and they were making no progress.

Zork123

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Posts: 252

(10/12/08 3:59 PM)

Clearly a bladder catheter would be appropriate for this child. She can hide the bag in her Hanna Montana backpack.

Sorry, but I am not clarovoyant.

RollstrayAtrolpayOmay

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Posts: 1730

(10/12/08 3:59 PM)

well, bottom line to me if this has been an ongoing issue (which it obviously is) they should have involved mom a lot sooner. 5 is really young not to get a parent involved at the very outset of a problem (which crying when a kid flushes the toliet is a problem IMO) Kids are prone to irrational fears at that age, it's part of their development, and a well trained K teacher ought to know that and be getting mom on board. YMMV

and ps, 20 kids in a K class? yikes! I'm glad we've opted for private school where she'll have 14 kids and 2 teachers.

"I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go." Barack Obama

gusgus15

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Posts: 72

(10/12/08 4:19 PM)

RollstrayAtrolpayOmay wrote:
They JUST alerted mom to this issue last week...so to me, the school bears some responsiblity here if this has been going on for 6 weeks without a word to mom. Could have been handled better....

My guess is they alerted mom earlier than last week, but mom thought, "Whatever." She even said in her post,

So, at first, I was like...what's the big deal. It is all new and she will get used to it with time.

Mom probably didn't let the problem sink into her brain until her daughter got a UTI.

While it is not the school's job to teach a child how to flush a toilet, there are many schools that now take the kindergarteners into the bathroom and show them how much TP to use, how to flush, and how to wash their hands.

TobysFriend

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Posts: 3005

(10/12/08 6:09 PM)

I thought this would be about C.Ann's latest medical drama.

Beth1976

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Posts: 1149

(10/12/08 6:18 PM)

Maybe I'm a bitch who was blessed with non-sensitive children, but to me this is just silly. A 5yo who is afraid of a freaking flush? To the point of crying? This isn't a newly potty-trained child. The fire alarm is one thing, but a loud flush? Come on.

coffee

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Posts: 2503

(10/12/08 6:24 PM)

My dd was afraid of those auto flush toilets.

I feel bad for this mom, sounds like a legitimate issue to me given school has been in session for 6 weeks.

Bree Hodge

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Posts: 3343

(10/12/08 6:59 PM)

TobysFriend wrote:
I thought this would be about C.Ann's latest medical drama.

I just saw that thread!

I think she needs to get the water at her lake tested.

va32h

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Posts: 1151

(10/12/08 8:02 PM)

My (almost 5) year old daughter is scared of those loud industrial toilets too. She opens the stall, flushes the toilet and then does a mad dash out of the stall. Our school is pretty old though, and has equally old toilets so I don't imagine it will be too much of a problem for her next year.

Bree Hodge

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Posts: 3355

(10/12/08 9:09 PM)

More piss

raysnkaysmom

I don't think I'd mention I was in jail in an interview

Join Date: Aug 2004

Location: 8 hr drive from Orlando!

Posts: 1,630

DD - Weak Bladder question?

Ok..so I went upstairs to see what DD was doing..and she's just playing.. but I stepped on something wet... I said "Whats that wet for" and she looked at me funny.. I said "Why is that wet".. She looked at me sheepishly and said "I wet myself"... Now...she does this ALOT when she laughs...if her sister or anyone get her laughing hard, she has no bladder control whatsoever... but, although she said sissy made her laugh, I don't think that was the case..I didnt' hear laughing...and her sister is downstairs here watching ANnie while she was up there...
DD is 8 yrs old....even if it is caused from laughing (which has been the case 98% of the time), should I get it checked out? I never thought it to be a problem til just now...... ?

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1981065

Nluvwiththemouse

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Posts: 789

(10/12/08 9:11 PM)

So who exactly will be watching the other children while the teacher is in the bathroom watching this girl flush the toilet. My child was terrified of the sound of a toilet flushing but I never expected the teacher to personally escort her to the bathroom.

Take the little girl to the mall and get her used to the sound, just because the child is in the teachers presence for hours each day doesn't mean they have to take over parenting the child.

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid but your abusing the privilege"

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mirthmaiden

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Posts: 1547

(10/13/08 5:48 AM)

Nluvwiththemouse wrote:
So who exactly will be watching the other children while the teacher is in the bathroom watching this girl flush the toilet. My child was terrified of the sound of a toilet flushing but I never expected the teacher to personally escort her to the bathroom.

Take the little girl to the mall and get her used to the sound, just because the child is in the teachers presence for hours each day doesn't mean they have to take over parenting the child.

Right. It's amazing to me how many parents don't get that. They think the teacher is there to personally hand-walk snowflake through the day.

ButtNut

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Posts: 124

(10/13/08 6:10 AM)

RollstrayAtrolpayOmay wrote:
well, bottom line to me if this has been an ongoing issue (which it obviously is) they should have involved mom a lot sooner. 5 is really young not to get a parent involved at the very outset of a problem (which crying when a kid flushes the toliet is a problem IMO) Kids are prone to irrational fears at that age, it's part of their development, and a well trained K teacher ought to know that and be getting mom on board. YMMV

and ps, 20 kids in a K class? yikes! I'm glad we've opted for private school where she'll have 14 kids and 2 teachers.

Yeah, I agree. It would be one thing if the kid was in first grade, but a 5-year-old is still barely out of toddlerhood. A kindergarten teacher should be more sensitive. If the teacher is freaking out over this and send her to the school counselor (!) for chrissakes, then maybe this chica shouldn't teach kids so young.

Poor little girl. I really feel sorry for her.

ilisao

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Posts: 711

(10/13/08 6:42 AM)

ButtNut wrote:

RollstrayAtrolpayOmay wrote:
well, bottom line to me if this has been an ongoing issue (which it obviously is) they should have involved mom a lot sooner. 5 is really young not to get a parent involved at the very outset of a problem (which crying when a kid flushes the toliet is a problem IMO) Kids are prone to irrational fears at that age, it's part of their development, and a well trained K teacher ought to know that and be getting mom on board. YMMV

and ps, 20 kids in a K class? yikes! I'm glad we've opted for private school where she'll have 14 kids and 2 teachers.

Yeah, I agree. It would be one thing if the kid was in first grade, but a 5-year-old is still barely out of toddlerhood. A kindergarten teacher should be more sensitive. If the teacher is freaking out over this and send her to the school counselor (!) for chrissakes, then maybe this chica shouldn't teach kids so young.

Poor little girl. I really feel sorry for her.

Sorry, can't agree. It's not the teacher's responsibility to parent. If this is such an issue, its up to the mother to teach the girl how to cope. By the time kids get to kindergarten, they've generally been using the toilet for around 2 years. At that point the school has other things to deal with besides toilet issues. This is not preschool.

"The earth is the cradle of humanity, but mankind cannot live in a cradle forever." - Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, the grandfather of spaceflight.

"Por favor mantengase alejado de las puertas."

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